BIRTH ORDER

Does your birth order have any influence on your personality? Of course, we are all individuals, but does birth order make you more likely to take on certain personality traits? It certainly seems possible, if you consider the inevitable differences in parenting that occur between a first and fourth child. Don’t most of us have the most pictures and the highest expectations of that firstborn? Don’t most of us let the baby of our families get away with just a little more? But do these differences in parenting really lead to differences in personality?

According to some who study birth order, there are certain traits most often attributed to differences in birth-order.

First borns, for example, tend to be:

• Natural leaders
• High-achieving
• Competent
• Bossy

Middle children may be:

• People-pleasing 
• Down-to-earth
• Negotiators
• Less driven than first-borns

Youngest children may be:

• Entertaining
• Extroverted
• Risk-takers
• Short-attention span

Only children may be:

• Organized 
• Dependable
• Detail-oriented
• Sensitive

Of course, it would be grossly oversimplifying things to say that birth order is the only thing that matters. Many other variables will also determine a child’s personality; these include the overall number of children in the family, how close they are in age, and the number of boys vs. girls—and that’s without even getting into other influences from outside the family. However, this doesn’t mean that birth order can’t also be important.

Does any of this ring true for you or your children? Whether or not you give much credence to birth-order theories, it is helpful to reflect on the different ways you parent each of your children. Which traits are you encouraging or discouraging by your parenting choices? Do you ask your firstborn to carry too much responsibility? Is your middle-child always acting as peace-maker?

For more to read on birth order, check out Birth Order: The Basics

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