SCHOOL ANXIETY  

You are just packing her lunch for school when your child looks up at you with teary eyes, complaining of a stomach ache for the fourth day in a row. Nasty virus or school anxiety? How do you know and what do you do if it is school anxiety?

Child development experts say that anxiety in children is not at all unusual and school anxiety is one of the most common types. School anxiety basically means that your child is fearing school or using avoiding behaviors (like a stomach or headache) to try and avoid going. Experts say it is most common at ages 5-7 and 11-14, when many children enter new schools. But many children experience school anxiety at some time, and there are steps you can do to help your child through it.

• First, talk with your child and ask her if anything specific is making her nervous. If she is afraid of something specific (like a new teacher or a class bully), you might be able to think of ways to handle the situation together.
• Make opportunities for your child to invite over some of her classmates. Sometimes making one friend in class can ease anxiety tremendously.
• Establish routines for your child and be consistent. It is important that she is going to bed at a reasonable time, eating meals at consistent times, and getting up for school on time. These rituals will help her body adjust to school.
• Stick with school routines. No matter how tempting it is to do otherwise, if she’s a “busser,” put her on the bus. If you drive her to school “just this once,” it will be a hard habit to break. I speak from experience on this one. We had to put my oldest kicking and screaming onto the kindergarten bus. I felt so guilty that I followed the bus to school to make sure he made it to class (I had visions of him crying in a heap on the floor of the bus). Guess who I found laughing and joking at the kindergarten cubbies? Moral of the story: Kids know how to push your buttons, and they’re tougher than they look.
• If the anxiety is at the beginning of the school year, try to do some special activities over the summer to help. Invite over new classmates, ask to meet the teacher ahead of time, tour the school the week before school, even play at the school playground. Just getting used to being at the school might help.
• Discuss your concerns with her teacher. Teachers are trained to help children overcome school anxiety. And, if you know and trust the teacher, that confidence will communicate to your child.
• Celebrate little successes. If she makes it through a morning without tears, pick her up after school and head to the ice cream store to celebrate her independence.
• If things aren’t improving, consult a professional.

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