SPANKING

Should you spank your children to teach them right from wrong? Spanking is a controversial issue among parents, with some following the “spare the rod, spoil the child” train of thought, others believing spanking is wrong in all circumstances, and still others believing it is appropriate only in situations dangerous to the child (e.g., a toddler running into the street).

First of all, how do you define spanking?

It is not hitting your child hard enough to cause injury or leave a mark. That type of hitting is dangerous and illegal. Some parents define spanking as a slap on the buttocks, while others define it as any form of corporal punishment that does not cause an injury.

Is spanking right or wrong?

People on both sides tend to have strong feelings that their point of view is correct. Research does point out a few facts. First, more educated parents tend to spank less. Second, spanking is more common in the South than in other parts of the country. In fact, corporal punishment is still legal in some school districts in the South.

Those who believe in spanking believe that physical punishment makes a strong impression on children and teaches them not to misbehave in the same way again. Experts point out that children spanked do learn to try and avoid the spanking, but some experts question whether they learn to avoid getting caught by their parent more than they learn right from wrong.

Those who don’t believe in spanking under any circumstances point out that we have laws against hitting other adults, animals, even prisoners. So why would we allow our most vulnerable to be treated in this way? They also point out that children who are spanked learn, by example, that hitting is an acceptable way to solve conflicts.

What should you consider?

First, it is important to give the issue careful consideration. Many parents find themselves thinking about whether they should have spanked their child only after they have done so in anger. Better to think out your feelings ahead of time.

• Does hitting your child fit in with your views on how children should be treated?
• Could you teach your child the lesson in another way? (See the suggested link below for some good alternatives.)
• Could you prevent some of the bad behavior? Simple things like baby-proofing a room can spare you a lot of frustration with your child.
• Think, “What do I want to accomplish?” If your goal is to help your child think through right and wrong, decide if a spanking is the best way to reach your goal.

For some examples of alternatives to spanking, check out the following web site:
http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/discipline.html