Parenting a Challenging Child

The title “Parenting a Challenging Child” really applies to all children, since each child presents unique challenges and joys. But some children seem to challenge their parents more than others. If you aren’t sure if your child falls into this category, he probably doesn’t. Parents of truly challenging children usually recognize early on (often in infancy) that this child will need special attention.

So what does a challenging or high-needs child act like? High needs children show the following traits:

• Intensity
• Persistence
• Sensitivity (easily over-stimulated, heightened senses)
• Perceptiveness (notices everything, doesn’t “filter” stimulation well)
• Low adaptability (changing activities is difficult)
• Irregular cycles (for sleeping, eating, etc..)
• High energy level

These traits are not negative; on the contrary, many of them will serve your child well as he gets older. But parenting a child with many of these traits is not usually easy. It can be wonderful, stimulating, and rewarding, but not always easy.

If you feel your child fits this description, there are some things you should keep in mind:

• Your child is not “bad” because he is challenging. Again, many traits that make a challenging child make a strong, interesting, sensitive adult.
• You may need extra support to parent a challenging child. Look to family and friends for breaks, and also talk to your pediatrician.
• You will want to learn more about effective ways to interact with your child. Some of this will come from trusting your intuition, learning from your child and trusting your instincts. Some learning should also come from reading or talking to child-development experts and other parents with challenging children. 

Want to learn more? We recommend the following sites: 

• My Roller Coaster Kid: Parenting Emotionally Intense Children
• Survivors’ Stories: 18 Survival Tips For Parents Of High Need Children

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