Kim Flyr is a parent and family life educator in Columbia, Maryland. She is a consultant to The Parenting Center and has published several essays about parenting, parent-teacher cooperation and helping young children transition into school. Each month, she brings us some quick tips on various aspects of parenting and family life.
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Current Events and Children: What to Share?
The evening news is more frightening than ever these days. It is difficult to know what to say to our children about the war or terrorism, when these topics are confusing and frightening to many adults.
Of course, how much you share will depend on the age of your child. Here are some general guidelines by age group:
Ages 0-7
- Children in this age group should not be watching the news. They may or may not be aware of world events. If they are aware, explanations should be simple and mostly focus on reassuring them. (“You are safe here; the adults who love you will take care of you.”)
- Children in this age group may not talk about their fears directly, but it may come out in their play. Watch your child’s playtime and use it as opportunity to discuss her feelings. (“I see you are building towers and knocking them down. Are the towers buildings? Who is knocking them down? Are there people in the towers? How do they feel?” Etc.)
Ages 7 and up
- If you choose to have your child in this age group watch the news, it would be best to watch with her. This way, you can ask and answer questions and monitor your child’s reaction.
- Many children will not bring up their fears, but will respond to questions. (“Are you afraid that we will get bombed?”)
- It is okay to let your child know that you sometimes find the situation confusing or complicated. Tell her what you know and also what you are not as sure about.
- Children this age still need a lot of reassurance about their safety. They do not have the experience to put world events into context.
- Your child’s temperament will affect how he handles the news. Be on the lookout for signs of distress – nightmares, obsessive thoughts, and overly aggressive or withdrawn behavior. If you see these behaviors or other behaviors that disturb you, consider getting professional help for your child. Your child’s school may be a good place to start looking for such help.
- Some children will need extra help, particularly those directly affected by the news (those who have a relative involved, for example). If you have a family member in the armed services, you should let your child’s school know and be extra vigilant in reassuring and providing support to your child during this difficult time for the whole family.
- Make sure your child understands that people from any one ethnic or religious group are not “bad guys.”
The news, troubling though it often is, does provide you an opportunity to share your values with your children. Don’t hesitate to talk to your child about world events. Even if he says he doesn’t need to talk, it is important to provide him the opportunity to do so.
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